Prayer Time

Lord, I need your mercy. I have taken You for granted. I have not placed all of my worries and concerns in Your loving hand. I have not looked to You like I should. I am in need of Your forgiveness. I am in desperate need of your peace. I stay stressed all of the time. Our family remains busy each and every day. I know that You are with us. You have not called us to live stressed. I am asking You to please guide our day. Help us to search You in all we do. I only want Your will. I am facing a few fears today, and I know that You have sent Your angels before me to keep me from striking my foot against a stone. Please prepare my heart for facing this fear. I cannot do this without you, Father. God, please help me as a Proverbs 31 woman, to prepare my household for Your return. May we look to You for guidance on how to navigate this dying world. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

Close of the day

Father I am here at the close of the day. I am thankful for Your protection of my family and me. I am thankful for the giggles and happy times, but I am also thankful for the frustrating moments of impatience and imperfection. God You are made perfect in my weakness. Please remind me of that sooner. I ask that You convict me so that I am able to obey you sooner. Your mercy is perfect and just. Show me how to turn away from the negative inner dialogue that tends to plague my mind. I ask You to forgive me of my sin and failures. Please wake me to a new day of service to You. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10

In this letter to the Corinthians Paul is speaking of something we as Americans cannot understand. We are not persecuted like they were in Paul's time. Even though we may not understand their persecution we do understand being burdened. We understand what it feels like to have the "weight of the world on our shoulders". We all carry burdens. Even if we are okay personally, we have friends and family members who are hurting. We might not know how we are going to make it, but Paul says that the burdens they were carrying were to show them how much they needed to rely on God. 

God wants us to fully rely upon Him. God wants our complete devotion to Him. We need to set our eyes upon God. He alone knows ALL the burdens we carry. He alone knows the burdens we carry in secret. We can hide nothing from Him. He longs to work in your life, but He cannot work if we do not trust Him. The Bible says He will never leave us. Train your thoughts to be in line with the Bible. The only way that can be done is by reading and studying His word.

So, look to God, pray, study the word. Allow God to use the burdens you carry to show you how much you need God. He loves you! He loves you! He loves you!

Day 1

Great is Your faithfulness to each of Your children. Father thank You for loving us. God please forgive my sins. Search my heart, God. Bring to light that which I need to change. May all I do bring you glory. 

Father, I lift up my husband to You. Father, he carries a big load on his shoulders. Only in You can he truly carry out You plans for his life. God create in my husband a yearning for Your Word. May my husband choose to live out Your word daily.

Father, I bring my children before You. You have temporarily placed them with my husband and I. I ask God that You keep their paths clear so they are able to see You at all times. May they always follow the path that leads to righteousness.

God, there are many situations in the lives of my extended family and friends that need Your attention. Many of my family and friends walk this path without ever asking for help, but God, You know they need it. Lord, some carry burdens that only You know about. I pray that You will intervene in their life. Bring about a greater understanding of who You are. May they see You as gracious and kind but also just. May they lean on Your words of peace and comfort.

Father, I am thankful again for all you are accomplishing in my life and the lives of my husband, children, extended family and friends. God, thank You for sending Jesus to bridge the gap between You and Your children. May we strive to be Your example without compromise. 

In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

Growth

The last week has brought about growth for me. Will it stick? Well, I hope so, but I know that I am not perfect. Above all my family goes through, my goal is that we bring glory to God. Isn't that why we are here, to serve God and bring Him glory? God wants all of us everyday. He longs for us to place Him first in our life. We can tell everyone that we are serving Him with our whole heart, but God knows the truth in that statement. He knows if you are slacking off. He knows if you are really following His Word. You cannot hide anything from Him. I am responsible only for my life in God. I am not responsible for others' walk with Christ. I can only do my best to speak the truth in love and pray that people see their need for God. I also have to remember that my speaking truth in love may still offend others regardless of how I present it. I cannot take offense. I have to separate my feelings with the knowledge that I have spoken the truth. I am still learning, but God grace is carrying me through.

Embracing the Season of Your Life

 I have struggled since having kids really wrapping my heart around this season of my life. I love my kids and want the best for them, but never can really grasp that a big part of the "best" will come from me. It is such a HUGE responsibility! I still cannot fathom why God would choose me for this. I am selfish. I want my way. I am not patient. Once again, I go back to God's grace. Without God's grace, I would not be able to accomplish anything. Praise God for His grace and praise Him for the season of life I am in.

Today's Prayer

Father, I am in desperate need of you today. I have stepped out believing that You have asked me to do so. My heart has been laid out. This gap has been in place too long. You, God, can restore anything. 

I am praising You, Father for Your magnificent love for each of Your children. I am asking You to bless those who persecute Your children. I am praying for those who are in harms way for Your purposes of spreading the message of Jesus. I am praying for breakthroughs in the lives of those who have been searching for You for so long. 

God, please use each of Your children for Your glory. May we stand firm and strong in Your word.

In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Prayer Time

Father thank you for this beautiful day. You have created everything in this world to your liking. The intricate details you have placed in all living things is unfathomable. You formed me in my mother's womb. You knew me before the beginning of time. Our society says everything has happened by accident. How unnerving this is to me. The earth is perfectly placed. We are perfectly protected where the earth is. We are each unique individuals. Not one person on earth is the same. How amazing is that? From cells we gain arms and legs, nerves that cause us to feel pain. We grow eyeballs that see the world You created. How can this be an accident? Thank You God for giving us some knowledge into how You created everything. Please forgive us for not believing that it is You that did it and not some cosmic accident. I truly believe in You as the Creator. You formed the universe and stars and planets, animals, ocean, land all from NOTHING. You spoke it all into existence and it was good. Thank you God for being Creator of all things. In Jesus name, Amen.

Not Capable

It is days like this I feel like Paul when he was asking God to remove the thorn from his side. I truly do love my kids. There are some days when I get so tired of saying the same thing over and over and still not reaching them. I do not feel equipped to handle it. I feel like I am failing. I am tired of hiding in this place that says to put on the front that life is so happy and easy. Right now its not easy. It is not easy to push my pride to the side to get my way. I want to throw a tantrum just so I can be heard. I am stretched to the point where I feel like I cannot say anymore without passing out. I have extended my lungs to what I feel is the breaking point. On days like today, I do not think I can make it through.

Am I alone in this feeling? Am I the only mom that struggles to hold it together for the sake of my kids. Am I the only mom is does not want to put her selfishness aside and get my way? I feel like I am. I get very tired of the facade to be the perfect mom. Patient and loving, ready to give the perfect advice everytime. Ready to lovingly hold my children and calmly tell them how to react to certain situations, that really cannot be what reality is. Reality is red faced, verge of explosion mom, who is tired of saying the same thing over and over and over. Why can't we be honest about it without feeling like someone will call in DHS when we have a bad moment of yelling? I am NOT perfect. I make mistakes and yell at my kids. Am I wrong in doing so? Yes, most definitely. So, here is where I hang my head and heart in shame.

But you know what? I have a merciful Father who chose me for this purpose. He chose me to raise these kids. He thinks I can do it. He KNOWS I can do it. He understands all of my weary frustrations. He knows when I am at my breaking point. He asks me to lay it all on Him and not on my kids. He will lift me up if I will humble myself. He will protect me if I will hide under His wings. He will be my tower of strength. I can run to Him and find refuge. His word is filled with so many verses about His protection. He WILL protect me. He WILL comfort me. God's promises are not empty. His love his unfailing. His faithfulness will remain with me. He is not out to hurt me. He has a plan for me. He has a future picked out specifically for me. He is my Shepherd. He leads beside STILL waters, not turbulent waters, STILL waters. He leads me to PEACE! He restores me! He FORGIVES me. Even when I am walking in the valleys of what seems like death, as in not feeling like I can go much further, His righteous hand will sustain me. So when you are faced with moments of not feeling worthy of His calling remember you did not call yourself. GOD Almighty called you. You were not meant to walk this path alone. You were meant to remain in Him. Stick tight to God. Do not look to the right or the left. Look into His glorious face and follow Him. Tear off what hinders you. THROW IT AWAY!!!! Run to God and finish this race He has placed you on, for HE cares for YOU!!!!

As I sit here, I am typing this a lot more calmly than what I began. I do understand that I will make it, and you can as well. We all have STUFF that causes us frustrations, use them to grow with God. Create a habit of turning to Him. Maybe this is what He wants from you at this point. Learn to lean on Him more than ever. Draw closer to Him and not to the frustrations. Do not sit in the midst of your frustrations and focus on them. Turn to God and He will lift you up and set your feet on a solid rock. Amen.

Christian Parenting

I find I get a lot of weird looks when I say how I parent. I want my kids to have a solid foundation of God before they are sent out into the world to live their adult lives. Our society seems to think lets just let our kids out into the world first without a solid foundation, then parents wonder what went wrong? Why do my kids not want to go to church? Why do my kids do drugs? 

We have to teach our kids what God thinks of them. We have to get them away from the thinking that what they do is who they are. I want my kids to know what God says about them.

They are loved. John 3:16
They are chosen. Ephesians 1:4
They are blessed. Ephesians 1:3
They are forgiven. Ephesians 1:7
They are holy, blameless, adopted, redeemed, sealed with the Holy Spirit.

I went to a conference this weekend. One of the workshops stated that we need to impart the identity our children have in Christ. She used a gift bag as an example. The gift bag was full of things we impart to our kids as part of their identity, athlete, smart, talented, but the gift bag was flawed, there was no way to seal it shut. So, when our children lost a game (athlete) they became a failure, so athlete "fell out". They lost their identity. She then took a very nice gift box, one that is sealed ith a tight fitting lid. Inside were the identities we have in Christ, already there, they did not have to be put in because it is part of the gift given to us because of Jesus Christ. Those identities we carry with us every day. They do not fall out due to a flawed gift bag. This perfectly sealed gift, Jesus Christ, never falls apart, never dumps out our identity for us to be left with nothing. It remains the same throughout our lives. 

Wow! I wish I had been taught these things when I was younger. My identity became what I did or who I dated. It was not an identity in Christ sealed with the Holy Spirit. Don't wait. Impart Christ to your children before the world tells them their identity.
 

Servanthood

This was written by my husband. 

GOD’S WISDOM:
THROUGH THE EYES AND ACTIONS OF A CHILD

It is somewhat humbling to know I have a Bachelor’s degree and am seeking to start my Masters and I am continually schooled by the wisdom of God, through my children. That alone should prove that man’s wisdom comes second to His.
To start my story, I’ll give a brief background. My wife was up all night with my 6 year old because she was sick with a cough and runny nose. My wife is sick with the same cold bug. I come home late at night after working from 8am-midnight and my lovely wife takes care of our daughter, making sure I am taken care of and able to get what sleep I can. Without much sleep and with her normal daily ailments, she has had a pretty crummy day.

Adding to this, I have been really stressed all week with my two jobs and life in general. I sometimes get so absorbed in what I’m doing I don’t look around to realize what others are doing or what they are going through. Today was a classic example of that and how God showed me I should be more aware of those I love.

So I’m going through my daily work routine and end up coming home for lunch at noon. My wife and children have prepared lunch and have just finished. My oldest daughter talks with me in the kitchen and makes sure I get my plate filled. All the while, I’m thinking about my work day, what I have done, what I need to do, and what I should have done better, etc.

After I am finished I take my stuff to the kitchen. And my Heavenly Father wows me by showing me how blessed my wife and I are with a daughter who has one of the strongest hearts of servitude I have ever seen. Her actions are truly humbling!

First, let me say that my daughters do more chores, daily, than most adults do in a week’s time. It’s just how we’ve raised them. And all being under eight, they are still in training somewhat. So when I say they don’t do things perfectly, you will understand what I’m talking about. Examples are their beds not made exactly right, clothes & toys stuffed under the bed, etc.

As a result, when I share with you that my eight year old daughter was in the kitchen, cleaning her heart out so that her mother who is tired and sick doesn’t have to, and doing so like a pro that’s been cleaning for years, you can begin to fathom the depth of the heart of a servant she has. The heart God wants us to have towards one another. Audrey put up the stuff from lunch and wiped down the table. She put a full load of dishes in the dishwasher and got that started. She then proceeded to clean off and disinfect and wipe down all the countertops. She cleaned off our flat-top stove, swept the floor and I have no doubt did it all with a heart of love and level of respect that you rarely find in a child her age. This girl deserves a big hug!

Now I say this with immense pride that my daughter didn’t stop there. She and Abigayle took a bed sheet, laid it out in the front yard and played outside so their mother wouldn’t be bothered by their playing. Oh what a lesson God is teaching us adults! In this little lesson our God taught me and my wife things like, humility, servitude, love, respect, caring for one another and gratitude.

Ya know, it’s already a great story. But I have to tell you, my oldest daughter didn’t stop there either. Knowing it was time for dinner, and that it was going to be a simple dinner like Ramen Noodles and vegetables, she comes in and tells Mandy that she can cook the noodles for supper. Mandy informed Audrey that she was the momma and it was her responsibility to make sure dinner was prepared for the family. Audrey persisted telling her that she knows her mother doesn’t feel good and is tired and that she can take care of dinner for her. Oh what a heart this little one has! Mandy, with the wisdom of a loving and teaching mother, tells Audrey that she can do it if she wants, but that momma was planning on and can still do it. So what does Audrey do? She could have taken the hint and praise she had already earned and went on with a sense of accomplishment. But no, not her, not the daughter of God with a heart towards serving; she walked right into the kitchen, got out the pot and noodles, prepared dinner and served it outside on their special lap trays in the front yard. The girls had a blast and Mandy and I got a lesson that can only be described as truly remarkable. 

My daughter, just recently turned eight, stands at the feet of God, showing me what it means to be a true servant to Him. I was so absorbed in myself and what I needed to accomplish, I hadn’t turned to consider that my Father needed to hear from me. He needed to know I love Him and want to be close to Him. I wasn’t focused on my wife’s needs and her discomfort. All I saw was what I was doing and how I needed to get it done.

Yet we can all take a lesson from this remarkable little girl. Through the heart of a child, God spoke. Through the actions of a truly humble servant, God spoke. Through it all, God showed me just how much we should love one another. My daughter was so in tune with her mother’s needs that she stepped up and became responsible for the household for a brief time to help her mother feel loved, cared for, respected, loved, and gracious. The simple acts of one child taught us both humility and wisdom.

So I ask you now, when was the last time you showed Christ’s love in such a way to another person? When did you last show this kind of love, humility, respect, gratitude, servitude and care for your Heavenly Father???
I ask you now to take just 30 seconds. 30 measly seconds and tell Him how much you love Him. Tell Him how sorry you are that you have not loved with the heart of a child. Tell Him that you will do better. Tell him that you will serve others, love others, show His grace to others, respect others, and care for others, with the very heart He gave you. Look through the eyes of a child and know how God wants you to be. Follow the actions of a child and know how God wants you to act and behave. And through it all, thank Him for His son and the ultimate love offering He made for you and me.
I know this was long, but God bless each and every one of you for taking the time to hear about my moment of clarity and wisdom from our Heavenly Father that was delivered by the actions of a child.

Inner Dialogue

This past couple of days I have been struggling with a lot of negative inner dialogue. I know what God says, but these thoughts have been outweighing truths. I know they are there. I can see them in my head, but find it hard to grasp a hold of them to stuff the negative down. 

How do I handle this? I want to repent, but I already know that my heart has not turned away from the inner dialogue. I am still faced with insecurities, anger, depression, anxiety. I do not like the way that I look, or the way that I feel. My feet hurt almost constantly and have been for about a year now. My shoulder is aching as well. I am angry with some situations going on and feel like there is nothing I can do. I am depressed because I am battling all of this all of the time and the anxiety that says this will never change. 

There is so much more to my thoughts, but I feel ashamed to share. 

I know God is there and helping me through, but I think it is something that needs to be walked through so I can help someone else on this path God has chosen. We all struggle. We all have negative inner dialogue. We do not talk about it, but it's there. I have a support system that is stronger and more powerful than any other. I have the Holy Trinity to hold me up, support me, help me change the thoughts to align with the bible. 

I do hope others read this. I want others who struggle to know they are NOT alone. We are Christian but we are human. We struggle. We do not always choose the right thing. God knew these things would happen. This is the reason Christ died for us and He has forgiven us. Praise God!!!

Triumphs and Sorrows

This week has brought triumphs and victories. This week has brought sorrow and sadness. It is easy to get lost in it all and focus on the negative. Take some time to delve into God's word to build us up. He is there and never leaves us. He wants to help you. He longs to hold you during times of happiness and sadness. He LOVES each of us. Use the hard times for growth and be willing to allow God to change your heart.

Psalm 143
A psalm of David.

1 Lord, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.[a]

7 Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

11 For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. It is not something that comes natural to us as humans. We want the vengence, but God says vengence is mine. It is not about getting our way. It's not about shunning others to manipulate to feel like you have control. Do we as Christians really understand the amount of forgiveness GIVEN to us? As Christians we believe that nothing in this world we could do to gain access to our heavenly Father. No, there was not anything. But Jesus. Do you know how much Jesus took on Himself at the cross? Do you understand that without any of His persecutors asking He said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." Shouldn't we be the same way. Shouldn't we say "I forgive you" as readily as Christ. Isn't that what we are supposed to do? It is not about the selfishness of feeling like we are due an apology, acting as if we have never committed a wrong to another individual. 

 We say we love each other. Do we really love each other? 1 Corinthians 13 says, "If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails." So I am asking that all who read this really long post check your heart to see if it lines up with what the word says. Nothing says life will be easy, but I think we often times make it harder than necessary.

Relationships

The past couple of weeks, the girls and I have been looking into Galatians 5:22-26, also known as "The Fruits of the Spirit". We have looked at each one throughout scriptures. So far we have talked about love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.

I had a thought about relationships while we were talking about faithfulness today. The fruits of the Spirit are an excellent way to teach the girls about relationships with family, friendships, and future husbands (as I have 3 girls). 

I pointed out to them that in our relationships we should use the fruits of the Spirit. We should love our family. We should be patient, kind, and good to our family. This concept also works with friendships. We should look to friends to be kind, good, loving, peaceful, and faithful. If our "friends" are not practicing these then it is time to look for different friends.

Lastly, I pointed out that at some point in their life God will begin showing them what to look for in future spouses. I told them that if the person they are looking for does not practice the fruits of the Spirit then they are not the right person for them. 

I guess I am teaching my kids to be picky about friends and possible mates, but I think we should be a lot more picky about relationships. We need to be careful about the company we keep. We want our lives to be surrounded with positive people who share our beliefs; people who will challenge us to grow in our relationship with God.

Trust

These last couple of weeks have been kind of concerning. I have had some things going on physically that scare me. I am up this morning due to being scared. There I said it, I am scared. I am really having to rely upon God more this week due to these feelings. There are times when it seems easier to trust God than other times. In this situation, I do not have any control. The future is out of my control. LOL, I do not like that. :-). 

God knows my heart. He knows that I am trying, but there are times, like now, that I am consumed by the what ifs. The thoughts of how life could be, or how I will have a lot of changes to deal with. I want to serve God wholeheartedly. I do not bode well with unexpected change. I really want God to be given the glory. I will do my best to make sure that I do what I can do to trust in God.

God Can Use Anything

God Can Use Anything.

Monday, March 18, 2013

I woke up, read my devotions. I got out of bed and my prayer, “May my actions reflect my heart, and may my heart reflect Your love.” The girls woke up so I head into the kitchen to cook breakfast. I am going to make scrambled eggs and sausage.

Audrey asks, “What kind of sausage is it?”

I reply, “Regular.”

Audrey says, “Oh.” In a way that sounds rather unimpressed.

Cara asks me, “What’s for breffast?” in her sweet 3 year old way.

I reply as I did with Audrey. And I get, “I do not like scwambled eggs and sausage.”

I was very angry, anxiety climbing. I tell them fine you can fend for yourself. One of these days when you have children they will be unappreciative of everything and you will then know how I felt.

Tap, tap, tap. I hear in my heart. You know my daughter, this is how I feel. I have given what I feel to be the most precious gift and my lost children continue to turn their noses at it. I have placed a spectacular buffet before each of my children. Mounds of grace, mercy, love, peace, joy, wholeness, are all there for the taking. I picked up the bill for you all. I placed my Son on earth to live as you live. He placed His body up on the cross to receive each one’s punishment. How else can I say that I love you? What will it take for you to eat at this buffet of goodness? Why is everything else in life so much more important than serving Me? Why do you allow excuses to rule your heart? My daughter, you are loved. Let my peace rule in your heart. Follow me, and me only. Do not allow life’s little aggravations to turn your heart away from Me.

God can use anything to speak to us. This was not how I planned on spending my morning. I did not think that “scwambled eggs and sausage” would be such a big lesson today. Thank you, Lord.

God's Love for Us

Sometimes "thank you" does not say it all. I sit hear and think about God's love for me and my eyes are pooled with tears. He carried all of my sin, past, present, and future. How can "thank you" be enough? It really can't. I want to share this message of God's infinite love for His children. He loves us!!! No matter what your past has looked like. He does not want you to live in condemnation. He wants each of us to live eternally with Him. He LOVES US!!!!!!